My Christmas Wish List

From the mind of a devious six-year old Chicano

 

Being six years old is cool

and all, but sometimes I wish

I was older so I could earn

lot's of money like adults do,

then I could be more unselfish.

 

If I had the money here’s what

I’d do for Christmas. First, I

would buy some hair tonic for

cousin Rudy’s gangsta friends,

as they are all going bald.

 

Then I would pay so that they

could all go to the clinic in the

barrio, so they can get checked

out for STD’s, because they

are always grabbing their

crotches, Nasty!

 

I would also like to get them

some oldies CD’s, like Uncle

Louie listens to so that they can

hear some real music, instead of

the boom, boom, boom, and

some dude talking and talking,

and talking, that they listen

to now. No wonder they’re all

going crazy.

 

As for my cousin Rudy. I would

buy him some candy cigarettes

so that he can stop smoking that

funny green stuff that smells all

weird and makes him act way 

stupid, more than he already is!

 

 

And finally, for my cousin Janie,

who is always looking at herself

in the mirror. I would buy her a

subscription to the magazine

“I’m So Sexy,” so that she can

learn how to read, and finally,

stop playing with her hair!

 

Well, that is all I want from

Santa this Christmas, and who

knows? Maybe my unselfish

behavior will convince Santa

to drop me off a million dollars

or so?

 

Hmm, maybe then I can borrow

Uncle Louie’s lowrider and take

off for Baja, where me and my

girlfriend can kick back and

enjoy the beach in Ensenada.

 

Sounds like a fair reward for

unselfishness. Well, have

a great Holiday Season, and

best wishes for the coming

New Year, from a six-year

old Chicano!

 

Frank Solis Copyright 2020

All Rights Reserved